Don’t lose your momentum

Momentum is one of the best things in life. It’s valuable, and if you don’t appreciate it enough, it will go away. Just like almost everything else in life. We want something so bad, and once we get it, we lose interest, or we don’t value it enough anymore.

We see it as a negative trait. We say things like: “he didn’t appreciate her enough, so he deserves it!”. When someone doesn’t appreciate someone or something enough, we look down on that person.

But we all do it. It’s built into us. We all do it, and then we all judge each other for it — typical humans. We’re very hypocritical animals. We do all the same things and judge others for doing those exact things.

Momentum is one of those things. It’s an abstract concept that not many people are aware of. It’s a little bit like a superpower that makes life a lot easier. That’s if you have it. If you don’t, then you need to do hard work to get it back again.

Momentum can be best described as inertia. Once you start doing something regularly, it becomes easier to do it every day. The more you do it, the stronger the momentum gets.

Let’s bring art as an example. In order to get good at our art, we should do it every day. If we do it every day, we get better and better. If we would only do our art e.g., once a week we’d die before we get to mastery.

Momentum that works as inertia can help us in this regard. But we have to work a bit to get it. We should do our thing at least a month or more to get proper momentum.

However, disrespect momentum – skip a few days – and momentum is gone. You didn’t respect it enough, so it left. Now you have to use a lot more energy and willpower and self-discipline to regain your momentum.

Believe it or not, but we judge each other for losing momentum as well.

If someone is trying to lose weight and wants to stick to a diet, momentum plays a crucial role. When that person loses momentum, we judge. Maybe not out loud, but in our mind, we judge.

We can’t control the judging part, but we can control whether we keep our momentum or not.

My advice to you is this: if you have momentum, keep it as if your life counts on it. You don’t skip a day (disrespect momentum)!

You will know when you have momentum in something. You would like to let loose, thinking that you’ve got it handled. You don’t. Trust me; you don’t.

Most of us ’don’t, and we don’t appreciate it until it’s gone.

Doing something, let’s say a couple of weeks straight and then not doing it for a couple of weeks is called “dabbling.” Dabbling around will never make you good at anything. It can make you mediocre, but if you want to get really good, then forget about dabbling.

Most people only dabble.

We should decide whether or not we want to make it (in our work or art) and if the answer is yes, then we should take it seriously and push ourselves to do it every day. Momentum will help us go through.

KRISTJAN

Not everyone will like you

We all have that need to be liked. Some more than others but nevertheless we all want people to not disapprove of us. In extreme cases, this is basically a disease. A disease to please others.

It has two sides to it: first, we want the approval, and second, we’re afraid of the disapproval.

We’re often afraid of saying our opinion because we might offend someone. Therefore we think we’re nice if we simply agree with the other person. So we constantly try to double down on them, always fearing the disapproval.

We think we’re nice, but it’s not nice at all as there’s an agenda. The agenda is that we mold our opinions and actions to fit the other person – which is essentially manipulation. Manipulation is definitely not nice.

A typical example is the nice guy syndrome – guys who think they’re nice to girls by always putting them first and doing things for them but secretly having an agenda – that if they do all those things, they get something in return. We all know what that “something” is. That is not being nice.

It’s necessary to realize that not everyone will like us. We will also not like everyone, and that’s okay.

Making pictures of people on the street – same thing! Not everyone will like that. That’s okay. We have to be okay not being liked by everyone.

Besides, we tend to overblow the “not liking” part massively. We think if someone doesn’t like our behavior or words, then they must be mad. If you make a photo of someone and they don’t like it, it doesn’t mean they hate you. In reality, it’s not that black and white. Just because someone doesn’t like us, doesn’t mean they hate us.

A good starting point to get rid of this negative behavioral pattern is to try to put ourselves first more. Ask yourself: “What do I like? What do I want to do? Where do I want to go?” etc. It doesn’t mean we’re selfish – we just respect ourselves. It also doesn’t mean we always have to push through our needs. No. What it does is that it creates a good ground for discussion with the person who might have a different opinion.

If you want to know more about this, The Disease to Please by Harriet B. Braiker goes a lot deeper.

KRISTJAN