Deep identity change

Now, when I say “deep identity change,” I’m not talking about a complete and total change of your self regarding absolutely everything. I don’t know if that’s even possible, and it’s irrelevant to what I’m talking about.

What I mean is that we all have a vision of the person we want to be. Maybe it’s someone you admire and think, “I wish I could be like him/her.” Maybe it’s a mix of different people. Whoever your ideal” you” is, we all have it.

We all want to be that person, but most people are not behaving like that person. E.g., we want to be slim and rich, but if we’re not doing the things these people do, then how could we even expect to become that ideal self?

Part of what’s stopping us is our ego – our self or identity. We have this idea of who we are – which is deeply rooted in the subconscious.

Since it’s deeply rooted, it’s very hard to change it. You may have noticed that when you try to break free of the “old self”, you feel as if you get dragged right back. It’s as if some invisible forces pull you back.

Consciously you do want to change, but unconsciously you don’t. Maybe it’s because we think that we don’t deserve it or maybe it’s because the old self is just too strong.

Whatever the psychological reason, one thing is sure: identity change is possible.

I believe it is very well possible to become the person you want to be, and there are plenty of real-world examples to prove that.

The way to do it is to keep acting the way the person you want to be would act. It means having the mindset they have and doing the things they do over and over again until you start to see cracks in the barrier that separates your old and new self.

You might also call this “modelling”.

Another example: successful people don’t crash on the couch, drink wine/beer, and watch TV every night. They don’t mindlessly browse social media or watch videos. They read books; they develop themselves; they keep learning new things. They take courses, go to seminars, hire coaches, etc.

Michael Jordan apparently had 11 coaches. What does it say if the pretty much the best basketball player in the whole world had 11 different people teaching and counseling him?

This is the super-elite level we’re talking about, but the same principle applies to whatever level you’re at. Me and (probably) you don’t have the means to hire personal coaches, but we have e.g., books and online courses.

The point is: in order to get to the next level, it requires a lot of work. Like the famous quote goes: “The definition of insanity is to do the same thing and expecting a different result”.

Speaking of modeling – this is what the Chinese do really well. They take what is successful, and then they just do the same thing. You may argue about the creativity and quality and all that, but the principle of modeling in itself works.

This is the idea I want to leave you with for the upcoming 2020. Maye, you become the version of yourself you’re always dreaming of.

KRISTJAN

Your reality – your rules

As human beings, we are constantly pinging off the environment.

There are a couple of reasons for that.

First, we can’t learn everything from first-hand experience as we don’t have the time for it. Some things, we take it for granted. If there’s a certain amount of people with a certain amount of certainty, then we take it for granted whatever they say – it must be true!

E.g., you have never touched burning lava, but you are very certain that it’s very hot and shouldn’t be touched. This type of learning is essential as otherwise, we’d probably not thrive as we have.

Secondly, our minds are still conditioned as if we’re living in a tribe, and if more certain people are telling us something, we’d better listen. We have the need to fit in and not do something stupid that would get us kicked out.

So, it’s very easy to fall into the frame set by others.

However, we’re not in tribes anymore, and so we don’t have to take everything for granted what others say we can or can’t.

Everyone sees reality through their minds and the way they see fit. They make the rules of their reality, but this doesn’t mean what they think is right.

There is no right or wrong in this world. Things just are. There is no universal “decidor “to decide what should and shouldn’t be.

E.g., most people might make up rules in their reality that being fat is not cool. But that’s just their reality – their idea of how things should be.

The cool thing is, you get to make your rules in your reality. In your world, you can make being fat awesome or becoming bald. Or stuttering. Whatever it is, you can make up your mind that what you do, are, or have is the next cool thing, and so it is. Again, is there any higher authority to decide who’s right and who’s not? There isn’t, so why is their opinion any better than yours?

Here’s another cool aspect: if you’re more certain in yourself than they are – they start to doubt their reality.

You decide what’s cool and what’s not – no one else. Don’t adopt someone else’s rules into your world; make your own.

KRISTJAN

Access your subconscious mind to solve even the biggest problems: here’s how!

I have always been a fan of long walks, but not until recently; I started to do these walks with a purpose.

Imagine this: If your conscious mind is like a small personal computer, then your subconscious mind is like a vast data center with hundreds of servers connected to super-computers. It can effortlessly move around huge amounts of information with lightning speed. It’s very powerful, indeed.

In order to get ideas, inspiration, creative insights, and answers to many of life’s problems, it’s best to use that powerful processing capability – our subconscious.

Long walks are one way to access it. In fact, any sort of idleness without distractions probably will do. The key is not to let your conscious mind to do the “driving” – and being in a distractive environment will definitely bring your conscious mind to the driver’s seat. Therefore, walks in a city center will not work in this regard.

I’ve actually bought a bunch of new notebooks because I needed to write down all these ideas and thoughts. I think I’m having more ideas and insights than ever before in my life.

It does work. E.g., just a couple of days ago, I was pondering over an issue – namely, I wasn’t sure if I made the right decision, and this thing bothered me the whole day. So, I went for a walk and like magic – I gained clarity. The answers and connections just flowed.

Many people underestimate the power of the unconscious and think it would be a waste of time to go for a long walk instead of consciously tackling a problem.

However, it’s usually during the idleness of the conscious mind when you come up with solutions to problems that have been troubling you for a while. Take advantage of this and get the best of both worlds.

KRISTJAN