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The one thing that always gives you the strength to stand up again

Purpose.

Life is ruthless. We all know that. Sometimes it feels as if the boot of life is hitting you in the face again and again until you’re face-down in the dirt. It’s the struggle of life, and we all get to experience it from time to time.

Obviously, the important part is to get back up again and keep going – sometimes easier said than done.

What I think is the one thing that gives us the power to do that is having a strong purpose in our lives. Something that you want so much, you think about it every single day. Napoleon Hill calls it “the burning desire.”

When people without a clear goal go down, they lack the will to get back up. They give up. They say things like” what’s the point, everything’s fucked up anyway.”

It’s called apathy, and it’s everywhere if you look around.

In fact, if you look closely, you can see how many people walking around are already dead – they just don’t know it yet. You can see it in the pupils. The eyes never lie, as the saying goes.

Apathy is one of the worst emotional states to be in – way worse anger, sadness, or grief. People in apathy have given up on their goals, their dreams – their life. They exist physically but are not living.

Having a strong purpose doesn’t let that happen. It gives you the superpower to keep on going no matter how rough things get.

I encourage you to find your burning desire if you already haven’t and use it as fuel to march on. Reminding yourself of your end-goal will help you get through the rainy days a lot easier.

KRISTJAN

How to be interesting in social situations

To appear interesting, you first have to be interested in it.

We tend to focus too much on ourselves. In a conversation, we think ahead of “cool” things to say. We try to be interesting this way.

This is not the way to do it.

It’s the same principle that says that if you want to be a leader, you have to be a follower, if you want to be a writer, you have to be a reader, to be a speaker, you must be a listener first, etc.

So, if you want to be an interesting conversationalist, you have to be first interested in others before they can find you interesting.

That means excuses such as “I’m not an interesting person,” “I have nothing interesting to say,” are invalid. These are just examples of the “me-me-me” egotism: “poor me; it’s all about me.”

Also, it’s not only about what others are saying in a specific conversation, but also about your ineterest in the world in general.

If you are interested in different things, you will become interesting automatically.

This is because, if you’re passionate about something, you’ll infect others with this passion as well. Just like laughter, other states of mind are likewise transferrable.

On the other hand, if you’re e.g., pretending to be interested in something that you really don’t care about, then it shines through and leaves others indifferent.

KRISTJAN

Pain = lesson

Imagine if everything we’d do would go smoothly and without any challenges. This would be a pretty boring reality.

We also wouldn’t feel as if we really deserve the result, which in turn would make us unhappy and miserable. That may be hard to believe, but it’s true – the highest rewards in life are the ones we get for defeating the most significant obstacles.

In essence, life is all about struggles and overcoming these struggles. Life without struggles is impossible, and even if it were possible, it would be meaningless.

We know that everything in the Universe has it’s opposite. There’s good and evil, hot and cold, stinginess and generosity, pleasure and pain, etc.

So, there’s no escaping any of these – but we can choose the way we react.

There’s a well-known quote from the 1987 movie Wallstreet. In that movie Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko describes greed, and it goes like this: “Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.”

I don’t know about greed, but I think this applies to the feeling of pain just as well. It clarifies in a sense that it shows us exactly the issue at hand.

We can usually find a lesson in it. If we would dig deeper and ask ourselves why do we feel the pain and why do we feel miserable, it may very well show us the solution – what do we need to work on.

But that’s for us to see or not see. It’s a choice we can make.

If we don’t get something we hoped, then usually, it’s because we don’t deserve it. It’s Universe’s way saying: “you’re not ready yet, do some more work.” And, it shows us exactly what do we need to work on.

It’s as if we’re really being tested whether we are worthy of the reward or not. Everything comes with a price. The Universe won’t give anything away for free.

KRISTJAN