God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Reinhold Niebuhr

The above line is taken from the Serenity Prayer. It’s often mostly recognized as the AA prayer, part of the famous 12-step program.

I like this a lot. It has some really profound truth in it.

There’s some much we can’t control in life, like the weather, economy, and other people’s reactions. But we can most certainly control our actions. Let me repeat it: We can’t control other people’s reactions, but we can control our actions.

For me, this idea has had a significant impact on my life.

If you look around, you’ll see many people walking around as if they have a stick in their ass. They’re stifled and tense - constantly anxious about everything. Every little change in their plans quickly ruins their whole day.

The world is essentially a big mess of chaos. There are so many different variables, so much happening all the time, so many other people who all have their wants, needs, and opinions, it’s simply impossible to control most of it.

Once you can see the difference and separate the uncontrollable from the controllable and are willing to let go of everything you can’t control, it feels like a tremendous weight has been lifted.

Because quite literally, you stop worrying about most stuff. You begin to shift your focus on your actions instead.

Being anxious about stuff like “will I get that job, will I get fired, will she like me, will the stock go down?” fade away. And with this, anxiety disappears along with it.

This brings us to courage.

Once you stop worrying so much about the chaotic variables, you open up. You’ll open up to potentially getting hurt. You take bigger and bolder actions because you’ll know you can’t control the outcome. Therefore there’s not that anxiety involved anymore.

Now, I’m talking about intelligent risks. Not every risk is smart. Investing all your savings in some random stock and then saying, “Hey, it’s not up to me anymore, so cometh whatever comes” is pretty stupid. I thought I’d mention that because some people take everything either as an absolute truth or reject it 100%. I call them “black and white” people. Maybe I’ll write about them one day.

Honestly, life will become so much easier. Making decisions becomes easier. Taking on tasks and responsibilities - all of it is simply a lot more effortless.

You’ll even do these things better, as there’s no more of that anxious worrying of the outcome.

Take care and good luck!

K.