Focus on the people who appreciate you

Kristjan Vingel profile

Kristjan Vingel

Focus on the people that appreciate you and your work. Don't focus on those who don't. They don't matter.

This sounds all logical and self-explanatory, but nevertheless, we tend to focus on the negative.

Say you have a Youtube video and 95% comments are positive. Almost instinctively we disregard the positive feedback and zoom in on those few loser keyboard warriors trying to explain ourselves to them.

Not everyone will like you, and you will not like everyone. That's how it is, and that's how it should be. Therefore there will always be people who don't like you. That's okay.

This also goes for real-life people.

The more energy we spend to please these people, the less they appreciate us. This can go on to a point where for them, you are the most resentful thing that has ever existed.

So, pleasing people has never worked and never will. It always has the opposite effect of what we think it has.

Have boundaries - if people cross them, make sure you let them know. If they don't fix their behavior, cut them off.

KRISTJAN

Kristjan Vingel profile

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Kristjan Vingel

Hi, I'm Kristjan. I'm a software engineer from Estonia. I like to write about life and self-development.