“Will money make you happy?”

We’ve all heard this question. Some hear it constantly by their jealous peers who try to rationalize their life and choices. Essentially this question doesn’t make any sense.

Let’s turn it around and ask instead: “Will not having money make you happy?”

Money itself is useless – but what it does is, give you freedom of choice. Freedom to choose whatever you want to do, whenever you want it.

Now, I don’t know if freedom makes people happy or not, but not having freedom definitely doesn’t. But probably there’s some exception somewhere out there.

However, the social conditioning we grow up around tells us that having too much money is a bad thing – even wanting money is frowned upon. If you want money, you’re greedy, cold, and calculative soulless capitalist.

It’s also ironic that these statements usually come from people who don’t have any money themselves. Why? They want to rationalize and make sense of their own life – to excuse themselves.

Now, I’m not rich by any means, but I have massive respect towards people who are. At least for the ones who have earned it themselves. And most rich people today have earned their wealth – not inherited it.

There’s no need to be ashamed to want money or talk about it openly. After all, is wanting a lot of freedom and a good life a bad thing? No, it’s not.

KRISTJAN

Who are you, and where are you going?

For the past few years, I wasn’t really sure where am I going with my life. I didn’t know what do I want and what am I even doing. That changed when I went to live in Taiwan.

After a month of being there, everything started to become clear. Not in an instant, but day-by-day, the fog cleared.

I took out my notebook and wrote down the things that I want out of my life. I wrote down my end goals and broke them down into three main parts or phases. For the first time in (probably) years, I knew who I am, what I want, where I’m going, and how to get there. I got to work immediately.

“Brool Story Co. Why should I care?” you may ask.

Here’s why.

We might not be even aware that we’re simply drifting through life in autopilot mode. That’s most people.

I’ve even asked some people about their dreams and surprisingly often heard “I don’t know” and also “I don’t have any dreams.” Needless to say, lacking a sense of purpose in life is the root of all kinds of psychological issues (my opinion).

I think the problem is that we’re not asking these questions from ourselves. Or only think about them once a year – e.g., at the start of a new year. However, successful people do this self-introspection all the time. E.g., Grant Cardone says he writes down his goals every single day – 2 times! Once in the morning and once in the evening.

Writing down or at least looking at your goals every once in a while reminds you to stay in track (or change to a completely different lane altogether). However, not paying attention to or not caring where you’re going is like a ship without a rudder. It’s going to hit the rocks.

So, take out a notepad (you should have a notebook or a journal) and do some introspection. Write down your goals (multiply by 10) and a clear action plan with estimated dates. I recommend breaking your goal(s) down to three — our brains like this number.

Ask questions like: “What kind of a person am I”; “What is my goal?”; “What do I want to do with my life?”; “Where am I going to be in 5 years if I keep going like this?” and so on. In other words, seek clarity!

Also, it is a good idea to get a journal. It helps to monitor your thoughts better. Besides, it’s so much fun to look back on what were you doing and thinking e.g., a year ago from now.

Get a journal! Seek clarity!

KRISTJAN

On New Year’s resolutions: a word of caution (+tips)

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Christmas is coming, and many people all over the world promise to either quit smoking, fix their diet, or learn a new skill. That’s awesome!

However, all this is easier said than done. And, there are a few problems with this tradition.

The main problem is, why wait until the new year? Why postpone something that one could start right this moment?

In fact, it’s probably not postponing. There’s most likely something else at play – a very deadly player that kills your ambitions, goals, dreams, and wishes before you even know that. Its name is “rationalization”.

Rationalizing why we need to wait until a certain date is almost a sure sign that we’ve failed before we even know it. Or we know it but don’t admit it: either way, a massive red flag.

The thing is that habits work as they always do. The beginning of the year doesn’t change anything in the way our brains are wired or how synaptic pathways are formed. In other words, your mind doesn’t give a shit what day it is.

Besides, why waste time? We have to value our time. We don’t live forever. Ask yourself: “How much longer do I keep disrespecting my time and, therefore, myself, before I start doing what I know I need to do?”

It is indeed not respecting yourself. Think if someone would promise you to do something and then just comes up with lousy excuses why he didn’t do it – over and over again. I’m sure you would see that behavior very disrespectful. So, why do we do it to ourselves? But that’s another article.

So what is a good way to not fail at following through the New Year’s resolutions?

What I’ve found out is that if there’s no emotional leverage, we’ll fail almost certainly.

It basically means that you need a reason – a “why”. In other words, the “pain” of continuing the old way has to be bigger than changing yourself. There has to be a real emotional reason behind the change. E.g., focusing on not smoking vs. focusing on having a healthy life or exercising in order to look fit and cool vs. to feel more powerful about yourself.

Focus on the “why” and not explicitly on the thing, and I guarantee you, it’ll make things a lot easier.

I have one more tip.

It takes around 90 days for a habit to sink in. So, if you’re making a promise to do something, do it every single day for 90 days no matter what. It’s very important to take it seriously. Because if you don’t, then I can tell from my (plenty of) experience, that it doesn’t work out.

KRISTJAN