I’m different than most people. That’s not me being cocky - that’s a fact. I know this because when I observe myself in certain situations and then observe others, almost everyone else does the same shit, whereas I do something else instead. Note that I’m not saying that I’m better than others.

Not because I want to be so different, but because the stuff that appeals to the masses, doesn’t interest me at all. My mind just works differently.

I can give you some examples. Let’s take watching TV - most people watch TV - I don’t. Most people are constantly on social media, driven by ego gratification - I don’t. Most people always use the escalator - I don’t. Most people don’t read books, I do. Most people would be happy with an average life - I am not. Most people want to settle down; I don’t. I could go on indefinitely.

What is the reasoning of a mother playing some dumb game on her phone while her kid is trying to get attention? What is the reasoning using an escalator if you could use your two fucking legs that were meant to be for walking? I just don’t get it. I must be weird. I probably am.

I wasn’t always like this; I was exactly like I described the people above. This is why I’m ranting about this so much.

There’s a quote by Robert Bly that might explain this:

“Our story gives a teaching diametrically opposite. It says that where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be. Wherever the wound appears in our psyches, whether from alcoholic father, shaming mother, shaming father, abusing mother, whether it stems from isolation, disability, or disease, that is precisely the place for which we will give our major gift to the community.”

Robert Bly, Iron John: A Book about Men

This is me trying to wake up people. Being most of my own life in a derp-state is my wound. It’s absolutely terrible. This blog is my gift. It’s for free for you to accept it or not. It’s here if you’re interested. If not, that’s also cool.

So, it really feels like waking up from the Matrix. Every day is precious. Every day is a gift given to us to use it. Yet, most people think they live forever and use their life to do absolutely irrelevant stuff. Don’t do it!

I think the only answer is that they’re asleep. Just by looking at people’s eyes in the subway, I see that there’s no aliveness in them. I’m not talking about all people, of course, but about the majority. It’s sad. So much better potential than me goes to waste.

By the way, if you’re a male reader, do yourself a favor and read that Bly book. Also, read Fire in the Belly by Sam Keen. These are probably the best two books about being a man and not a boy. I know I’m getting a bit sidetracked here, but whatever - this info is important.

KRISTJAN