Toxic people: how to recognize and what to do about them (this can save your life)

Kristjan Vingel profile

Kristjan Vingel

“Pablo Picasso was notorious for sucking the energy out of the people he met. His granddaughter Marina claimed that he squeezed people like one of his tubes of oil paints. You’s have a great time hanging out all day with Picasso, and then you’s go home nervous and exhausted, and Picasso would go back to his studio and paint all night, using the energy he’d sucked out of you.”

Austin Kleon, Show Your Work!

If you ever meet someone who drains you, you better run. People who bring you down or do not help your cause need to go. It doesn’t matter if they’re friends or family, it’s best to ditch these people.

“But that’s cold,” I can already hear. Here’s my answer:” Yes, it is, so what?”. Welcome to the real world. It’s not all warm and fluffy and nice out here. Not everyone has your best interests in mind - you need to protect yourself.

Ultimately you’re not doing yourself any favors by hanging out with people who are not going anywhere or make you feel bad about yourself. The environment shapes us. If the people who surround us are blocking us, it affects us negatively as it becomes our environment.

It doesn’t mean to hate these people - of course not. Just to keep a long distance and ignore them.

So, if your friends are not on the same level as you are, then get new friends. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is toxic, get rid of her or him and get a new one.

If you sense any poison dripping at all, run as fast as you can, because the poisoning will only end until you leave or your ‘e poisoned to death - just look at most married middle-aged couples out there. They’re an empty shell of their former self. They’re tired, worn out, and have no drive nor passion. Essentially they’re already dead - they just don’t know it yet.

Instead, surround yourself with people who are positive, light, want to move up in life, and don’t complain.

By the way, complaining is a perfect way to see if you should let someone in your life or not. Whether you’re considering to hire someone or having them as your girlfriend/boyfriend, just ask what they think about their last boss or boyfriend/girlfriend.

Look at their eyes. If their eyes light up as they unleash a toxic flood of complaining, then it’s almost a 100% certainty that that person will talk about you the same way sooner or later.

Trust me; you don’t want to experience this on your own. Don’t ever let anyone like this in your life. They will poison you - and they can do it up to a point where you will consider suicide. I’m not even joking - this can be a matter of life and death.

KRISTJAN

Kristjan Vingel profile

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Kristjan Vingel

Hi, I'm Kristjan. I'm a software engineer from Estonia. I like to write about life and self-development.