I haven't talked much about the man-woman dynamic in this blog. Barely, if at all only slightly touched it.

But this seems like an exciting new topic to explore. It's fascinating because there is an unbelievable amount of confusion and misinformation about it.

It's also an amazing topic because it speaks to almost any man. Every man wants to know what makes women tick. However, the "vice versa" isn't nearly as interesting.

And this advice, which was true hundreds and thousands of years ago, is still valid hundreds and thousands of years from now.

So let us jump straight in.

Is it money? Nope. Status? Nope. Looks? No again.

These things certainly help of course. But overall, they are not a deciding factor. They're more like nice-to-have's.

Let me take a step back for a minute.

See, the problem is that many men have a quite feminine mindset. They care awfully a lot about what other people - especially women - think of them.

Evolutionarily speaking, this is more of a women's domain.

Anthropological evidence suggests that women in hunter-gatherer societies often relied on cooperative relationships for survival, particularly for childcare and resource sharing.

Social harmony was – and still is – very important for women.

Men on the other hand focused more on hierarchical structures and resource acquisition that had a much stronger emphasis on independence.

Did being as handsome as Justin Bieber help the tribe with survival when the saber-toothed tiger suddenly appeared? I don't think so. How about if you were very rich? Again, no. Same spiel.

So when men are worried about their looks and complain and whine about it, they're being a goddamn flower.

If you're a man and you recognize yourself as a flower, stop this nonsense immediately.

Now that there's a bit of background information and context, let us return to the original question:

What do women look for in a man?

Women are looking for an independent masculine individual who knows who he is and who respects himself. He's completely comfortable in his own body and he feels complete. He's not looking for anyone to complete him.

This kind of man makes her feel secure. And security is an extremely important aspect for women.

Women want to feel that they can trust the man. That they can trust themselves in that man's hands and know that this man will know what he's doing. Because for thousands of years, their very survival depended on it.

In fact I don't think it's even possible for a woman to feel attraction towards a man who does not respect himself. Because if that man does not respect himself, then others won't either. And one just can't feel attraction towards someone you don't respect.

That man can get pity at best.

So in other words, being comfortable with yourself, respecting yourself, not bending to others, even loving yourself is what women look for in a man. This signals security, strength, and trust.

It might not be the only thing – in fact I know of a few more (maybe I'll write about them some other time) – but it sure is one of the most important one.

kristjan